The math
- Emergency work bills $150–$300/hr — 1.5–3x standard — plus a $150–$350+ dispatch fee; a water heater replacement runs $1,600–$7,000, a repipe $4,000–$15,000 (Housecall Pro).
- 27% of home-services calls go unanswered, and under 3% of voicemail callers leave a message (Invoca). When a lead does get answered, 45% convert on the call (Invoca 2026 benchmarks).
- 41% of online-booked home-service jobs come in after hours (CallRail); the average missed call ≈ $1,200 (Housecall Pro).
"The burst-pipe caller at 11 PM is your highest-margin job of the month — and they give your voicemail about four rings before dialing the next plumber on the map."
How she handles your calls
- "Water's pouring through the ceiling" → your owner-approved shut-off-valve script, an emergency dispatch, and a human on the line — in that order.
- A drain that's clogged again → a service visit booked against your real board.
- "What does a new water heater run?" → your approved range, then an estimate visit on the calendar.
- A tenant calling → landlord authorization captured per your rules before anyone rolls.
What she won't do is play plumber. The only self-help she ever offers is your shut-off script to stop active water damage — no DIY guidance, no phone diagnosis. A gas smell near a water heater gets one verbatim line: hang up, leave the house, call the utility or 911. That restraint is your license staying out of the conversation.
Quick answers
"A pipe burst — what do I do right now?" — She walks your shut-off-valve script and books the emergency dispatch, with a human on the line if needed. Stopping the water comes first.
"How much will this cost?" — Only ranges you've approved, plus your service-fee fact. Exact quotes wait for the tech.
"Can I talk to a person?" — Instant transfer, any hour.